Silence
Hello. My name is Jordan.
I just made the biggest mistake of my entire life last night.
I slept with a friend of mine last night… And it wasn’t my significant other.
I cannot even begin to describe the shame I feel right now. What have I done? What the hell have I done? I’ve just risked the most important thing in my life.
We were so drunk… It was as though I was watching myself do all these things from the outside.
What the hell have I done?
I want to die. I will never be able to have the same respect for myself again.
What do I do now?
redblossom88 said,
November 16, 2008 at 2:22 pm
Do you think there is a chance of it happening again? Or your partner finding out? If not, don’t tell. I’ve been cheated on in the past, and sometimes it better to be blissfully unaware. Don’t beat yourself up too much.
twentytwo14 said,
November 16, 2008 at 5:42 pm
It’s certainly something that would never happen again, no question about that. There’s always a chance that someone might tell, though. I just can’t believe it happened — I’d never think of cheating on my partner while in my right mind… We’re in such a wonderful relationship.
Damn hormones, I guess.
redblossom88 said,
November 16, 2008 at 6:07 pm
I haven’t read your blog other than this post, but I’m taking it that your a guy? Well if you feel like you can’t live with the guilt then tell. Your partner didn’t deserve it, but it was a mistake, he/she might forgive you. Just be sensitive.
twentytwo14 said,
November 16, 2008 at 7:53 pm
I won’t divulge whether I’m a man or a woman, but I appreciate your advice
If he/she does indeed find out, it’ll be the end of us, that I’m sure of — We’ve had many conversations about this sort of thing in the past. As for living with the guilt… Well, what I think I’ll do is I’ll wait some time before deciding whether or not I’ll confess. My partner didn’t deserve what I’ve done, but I know I’m not that kind of person. Looks like I’ll be staying away from alcohol for a long, long time though.
redblossom88 said,
November 16, 2008 at 8:26 pm
thats interesting that you wont divulge your sex. Why is that?
twentytwo14 said,
November 17, 2008 at 4:12 am
It adds an interesting factor to my anonymity here… I suppose I feel as though it removes an element of bias in the responses I get to my posts.
redblossom88 said,
November 17, 2008 at 5:42 pm
well then im gonna guess and say that you are a man? I think I’m right to be honest!
twentytwo14 said,
November 17, 2008 at 6:15 pm
Perhaps — There’s a 50% chance, anyway! Well, technically there’s greater chance in that there’s a slightly greater chance of a sperm cell carrying a Y chromosome reaching an egg than a sperm with an X. Also there tends to be more men that regularly use the internet than women.
I will say that I am heterosexual. If you can find a reference in my blog to my significant other’s gender that I may have let slip, that would be a definite indicator as to whether or not I am male or female.