Bad Company – Seagull
Seagull, you fly across the horizon
Into the misty morning sun.
Nobody asks you where you are going,
Nobody knows where you’re from.
Here is a man asking the question
Is this really the end of the world?
Seagull, you must have known for a long time
The shape of things to come.
Now you fly, through the sky, never asking why,
And you fly all around ’til somebody, Shoots you down.
Da da da da da da da down.
Mm mm mm mm, mm mm.
Seagull, you fly, across the horizon,
Into the misty morning sun.
Nobody asks you where you are going,
Nobody knows where you are from,
Now you fly through the sky, never asking why,
And you fly all around ’til somebody, yeah,
Shoots you down. Mm mm, yeah.
Seagull you fly, seagull you fly away.
And you fly away today
And you fly away tomorrow
And you fly away, leave me to
my sorrow.
Mm, mm, mm.
Seagull go and fly, mm, mm, mm,
Fly to your tomorrow, leave me to my sorrow, fly.
I thought the entire Friday Night Lights soundtrack was by Explosions in the Sky for the longest time… I guess this song and 2 others aren’t!
Anesthetics prior to the first incision
Is it wrong to hate myself for what I feel I need to do?
On one hand, I absolutely, totally, completely, and with everything within me, hate the way this is going to hurt my SO. I hate it. But, I can’t bear the thought of us staying together simply because I didn’t have the guts to do something that I felt was right for myself. This would make for an unhappy life.
It’s good to be back, though. I’ve been trying to take it easy for the past couple days… Oh, good news! My diet’s over, too, as of Tuesday. Why was I dieting, you ask? Well, not because I’m fat… not by a long shot. Anyone would say I was just right. However, I have a certain body type in mind and I’m simply not there yet. I’m close, but not quite there. I just had to drop my body fat percentage a few points, and now I’ve got to hit the gym and start exercising. It’s a nice two-phase program I’ve developed for myself. I could’ve tried to exercise and lose weight at the same time, but that would’ve sapped me of precious energy and time needed for things like studying and retaining consciousness during everyday activities.
Too bad I won’t say how much I lost, though. That would be revealing just a little more about myself than I’m comfortable with… in an indirect way, at least.
I must be bipolar… I’m happy about so many things, yet some things just seem to be causing me so much pain still. As I’ve said, I remember why I wanted to go so far away in the first place… I hate being back around some of these same people. But there are also several I’ve been eager to see, like my brother. Though we’ve been at each other’s throats for most of our lives, several big things happened between us and now he’s one of my best friends. It’s wonderful, actually…
And then there are my parents. Though they don’t fight as much anymore, their attitudes towards me and my brother haven’t changed one bit.
…I think I might cut tonight.
But why? I almost feel fine… almost. It’s as if this cut I’m about to make is the one step between me and “fine” tonight.
It’s too bad, though. It’s been almost a week since the last time. Perhaps I’m bipolar? What’s driving me to do this?
