Been thinking too much again
Staind – Epiphany
Your words to me just a whisper…
Your faces so unclear…
I try to pay attention…
Your words just disappear…
‘Cause it’s always rainin’ in my head…
Forget all the things I should have said…
So I speak to you in riddles…
‘Cause my words get in my way…
I smoke the whole thing to my head…
And feel it wash away…
‘Cause I can’t take anymore of this…
I wanna come apart…
Or dig myself a little hole…
Inside your precious heart…
‘Cause it’s always rainin’ in my head…
Forget all the things I should have said…
I am nothing more than…
A little boy inside…
That cries out for attention…
Yet I always try to hide…
‘Cause I talk to you like children…
Though I don’t know how I feel…
But I know I’ll do the right thing…
If the right thing is revealed…
‘Cause it’s always rainin’ in my head…
Forget all the things I should have said…
Why? Because it reminds me of once upon a time.
Mind reader
There’s a thorn in my side… a thought I just can’t expel.
I went out with a friend today, and bought some new clothes. I was in pretty desperate need before today, so I’m glad I got the chance. It’s so sad that I’ll be leaving to go back home so soon… We’ve become quite close over the past few months. At least I’ll be back here early next year.
It’s such a funny friendship. We’re so much alike, it’s unbelievable. Though we’ve come from different homes a thousand miles apart, we share so much with each other. We like the same things, we dislike the same things, we enjoy talking about the same things and doing the same things together. Of course we’re not exactly alike, but we’ve really only discovered four or five major things we disagree on, and that’s based on a very loose definition of “major.” We’re different enough to keep it interesting, but we have scarily similar personalities.
This person is… well, astonishing. Our conversations, incredible. The times we’ve shared, amazing. I can’t seem to get enough of their company… I can’t help but think, were we not bound by such a wearisome title…
Thus presenting me with quite the dilemma. I am already in a relationship. A great one. One that’s lasted for four years… But we were never so alike. But then again, who is, once you reach a certain point? I hate myself for even considering undoing four years and the heart of someone I think I love. But what is love? Better yet, what would I be missing should I do such a thing? Or what would I be missing should I choose to stay where I am? Would there even be a chance between by and my “friend”? How could I be such a terrible person? But this is my life… what would be so terrible about trying to make it just a little better?
But even before we met, I couldn’t escape the pressing thoughts that I and my lover were so different. But if we were truly so incompatible, how did we last for so long? Perhaps we’ve simply changed since the day we’ve met?
Could I only read minds, perhaps I wouldn’t be forced to choose… perhaps this decision could be made for me. Could I only be strong, perhaps I could make the most difficult decision of my life.
Dear God, what’s the answer to this riddle?
